It’s funny how I can get so comfortable in a roll then all of a sudden reality hits. Reality reminds me that I was just a place holder, the back burner who finally needed to be used because on the of the front burners needs some time off. And now that the front burner is back on and working fine, I am tossed to the side once more, becoming dusty and forgotten.
Most of my life I have been the back burner friend. The back burner employee. The back burner everything. I am the forgotten one until someone needs something and I am conveniently there for them to use. I thought maybe I wasn’t that person at work. I had been requested to move stores by the store manager herself. Now that the other assistant manager is back from maternity leave I am suddenly an overpaid cashier.
Don’t get me wrong, I love working with the customers. But I don’t like being demoted. It feels like no one trust me to handle the responsibility of being in the management position. Being a cashier means I will no longer have time to stock anything other than what is by the registers. I no longer have keys to the store, meaning I can not open or close. And if by some chance I am scheduled to open or close, I have to make sure I have the keys to do so.
I was finally getting comfortable calling myself an assistant manager, stepping into the role and learning the ropes. Now I am thrown back to just a lowly cashier. It’s irritating because I know I can do the job. I am better than just a cashier. I want to move on and do more. I want to be in charge of something.
And while all of this really ticks me off it has also given me some perspective on my future. Something in the back of my mind has been trying to tell me for a few weeks now. Trying to point out that I would not be in this business for the rest of my life. I have bigger dreams than that. But I wanted to nestle down and become okay with the situation I was in. I wanted to stop fighting for my dreams because what I have now is easy.
I am taking this as my wake up call. I am not a retail worker. I am a business owner and an author. I have bigger plans in my life than just a retail worker. For a moment I thought I could work my way up to store manager, but I was still be working under someone. I am meant to be a store owner and answer to no one but my business partner, who will more than likely be my mom. I let my dreams slide through my fingers, I was going to settle for just okay.
I just needed a kick in the rear to be reminded why I am supposed to be working so hard before and after work and on my days off. I have a lot to accomplish and the job I am at now is just something to keep me on my feet while I work towards my dream.