Invisible Pain

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The other day I was out with my mom and brother. My brother and I were going into a 2nd hand store. They sell books, movies, and games. And a few other things. It’s seriously like a nerd shop. I stayed in the book section of course.

Getting out of the car when we got to this place, I had a little trouble getting going. My ankle was giving me a lot of problems that night and it was really hard to walk. After a few minutes it wasn’t as bad, but it’s the first few steps that I have the most trouble with. If there is something I can use to lean on when I step down on my left foot, I will use it in a heart beat.

Getting out of the car my brother made a comment that kind of set ill with me. He said “You should wear your boot, then people would know what is wrong.” My boot, Edgar, has been sitting in my bedroom for a few weeks now. I don’t need it and it causes more pain when I wear it. I don’t need the boot. But because the boot would show people that I have some kind of injury I wouldn’t get weird looks when I am hobbling around.

It ticks me off that in this world, if people can not see your pain it just doesn’t exist. It annoys me that my brother thought it would be better to use a contraption that causes more pain would be better than trying to get around without it. It also annoys me that I wanted my boot at that moment.

Because I am overweight, I worry more than I should when I am hobbling around. I don’t want people to think that my weight has something to do with my injury, because it doesn’t. I just happened to injure myself and now I am on the road to recovery. But this whole journey has irritated me beyond belief. I have no scars from what happened. You can’t see where my pain is.

I have had too many people sneer at me. I know that they are thinking I am lazy and trying to use my injury as a way to stay lazy. I know that people are thinking that if I just lost weight I wouldn’t be in this pain. And I am sure others believe that there is no actual pain, that I am just making it all up.

Since when do I have to explain to the world why I have trouble walking? Since when do I need something to prove that I am in pain?

Then I got to thinking, there are so many invisible pains that people deal with everyday. I have dealt with two. My ankle, and depression when I was younger. I have always known the trouble of invisible pain and never discount someone when they say they are hurting in any way.

I almost wish that everyone had to feel one type of invisible pain, just once. Just so they can see that not everyone is faking their illness. Also, I didn’t stop working with my ankle issue because I am not the type of person to sit down and give up. I will fight to the very end of my life and I will succeed in what ever I want in life, no matter what tries to hold me back.

Forgive me for my rant. What kind of invisible pains have you dealt with, or are dealing with? What would you tell the world about your own pain?

Meet Again 2

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