As you know, I haven’t been writing much. I haven’t been posting a lot of blogs, working on my short story, or even working on my two books that I have been working on. I just haven’t sat down at my computer to pound out more words.
I realize that it’s not from being lazy. At first I thought I was just being lazy. I just wanted to do other things like watch TV or bake. I would use the excuse that I was too tired to write. And now that I have Pixel, I use her as an excuse too.
The truth is, I have just been looking for my reason. Why do I write? I started writing poetry in High School, then in college I started my first book. They were ways to pass the time in class. If you were writing, the teacher didn’t realize you were not actually paying attention.
Then I told myself that I was writing because it had some how become a dream. I wanted to become famous and possibly rich. I wanted to sit in my room and write all day, non-stop. Writing was going to be my full time job.
So I put more pressure on my writing. It had to be perfect, it had to be Stephen King worthy. Yes, the opinion of Stephen King matters to me, as well as Kim Harrison. My two favorite authors. I wanted to create something that they would love.
I have been away from my writing for a few weeks now…maybe a month or so. And clarity has finally shown it’s face. I do not write to be famous. I do not write to get recognition from my favorite authors. I do not write just to write.
I write because I want to create something beautiful. A beautiful world that someone escapes to when they have had a bad day. A world that is ever present in someones mind. A story that makes someone smile even in their darkest moments.
I have so many places in my head. Places that are not real. I have people that live there too. They want to tell their story. I want to tell their story. These are the places and the people that helped me down some really rough roads, and I write about them in hopes that someone else can find solace in them as well.
Maybe with this discovery I can get back to writing and feel good about it again. I do miss the words on the pages, and the characters that tell me their story.