Happy Birthday To Me

I took a break yesterday, seeing as it was my birthday.  I am officially two years away from being 30.  With that in mind, I started thinking about my life, where I am in life, and where I want to go in life.  Luckily, I am kind of sort of on track with where I want to be.

My biggest dream has always been to be a well known author.  I just want people to read my stories.  I self published my first book last year and I have been working on my second book this year.  I started taking some classes on freelance writing to improve my writing as far as grammar and sentence structure goes.  I would like to try to go the more traditional route and have a publisher pick up my work.  I think it’s good enough for the masses, I just have to perfect it.  I am my biggest critic though, and it’s never perfect to me.  I just want to prove to myself that I can capture the eye of the publishers.

My newest dream, a dream I just discovered, I want to own my own bakery.  I want to make cakes, pies, cake pops, pastries.  I want to do it all.  I will be starting next month with some cake decorating classes, and as you have seen on my blog, I am experimenting with new recipes. It’s something that I have a passion for.  It’s fun to put your heart into a cake or cake pops.  In the end you have a beautiful work of art that people will admire 10 seconds before they devour it.  Then their eyes will light up with how amazing it taste!  Even though my art doesn’t last forever, it will bring joy into someones life.

There are things in my life that I need to work on.  I want to be in the best shape ever by time I turn 30.  I want to be one of those gorgeous 30 year olds that enjoys everything in life.  I want to be a runner and a health nut.  That gives me two years to get this whole fitness thing down!

Yesterday was such an amazing day.  I was center of attention, which as a Leo, I loved!  But it wasn’t just about being center of attention.  For most of my life I have felt like an outsider. I always felt there was no where I belonged.  I thought that the only people who would love me unconditionally would be my parents and my brother.  I have family that tend to forget about me, and I am sure they somewhat hate me too.  I don’t know why, I have always been a good person.

I had so many birthday wishes posted on Facebook.  Everyone at work was telling me happy birthday.  I even got a card and cookies from work.  My favorite part of the day was going to church.  I have always been such a closed off person.  I find it really hard to let people in, and at church last night I realized, my walls have started to fall.  These wonderful people that I have met and become friends with are slowly chipping away and this wall built with fear and sometimes hate.  The students of the youth group just melt it away like it was nothing.  I am learning to love again.  I am learning to trust again.  I am learning that I am no longer alone in this world, and I never really was.  I have a group of people who are not blood related, that love me more than some of my blood related family does.  And it’s nice to wake up and see what has been there waiting for me to see.  A family that choose to love me because its what they do.

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