Realizing Reality

Writing is pretty much my life.  It doesn’t pay the bills, yet.  Not many people read what I write, simply because it is not available yet.  I have written one novel and it took four years to do that.  I wasn’t very dedicated to getting it written.  I self published it in March of last year.  A few people bought it the first month, then sales disappeared all together.  I lost my reason for writing. Actually, I forgot why I started writing in the first place.  I started writing poetry because I was angry.  I used poetry as a way to kill people without actually killing them.  I miss those poems, they were actually really good.

I stopped writing poetry and started writing short stories.  Most of my stories were of lives I wanted to live.  You know the kind, the ones where the hot popular guy would fall in love with silly me.  Then, I started writing because I loved to write.  I had stories in my head, stories I had been telling since I was old enough to talk.  There were voices in my head, begging to be heard, begging me to write down what they were saying.  I realize that I probably sound like a loony, but it’s true.

About a month ago, a teenage girl got a hold of my book.  She fell in love with it and kept telling me how much she loved it.  Now, a few of my friends had a copy of the book, but not many of them actually read it.  That’s a huge shot to the ego when friends won’t even read it.  For some reason, this teenage girl gave me the drive to start writing again.  I never really stopped writing really, I just stopped writing novels.  My biggest dream in life is to be a writer.  Hopefully, one day, a best seller, right up there with Stephen King!  I even have this odd dream that I will one day co-write a book with Mr. King.  I absolutely love him and his twisted mind.

So, I have started writing again.  It’s coming to me easier this time.  I am not fighting to stay on track.  I am pounding out the stories like it is my soul purpose in life!  My goal is to finish my second novel, rough draft, by the end of this month and things are right on track!  I am so excited because I have never felt so…in the right place!  My daily goal was to write at least 1,000 words a day.  That only lasted for a day.  I started writing 2.000 words a day, and that has stayed pretty constant.  Which is helping a lot.  I am not writing too much and losing the story, yet I am writing enough to meet my deadline.  I haven’t missed a day yet.

I got to thinking today, if I had as much dedication to losing weight as I do to writing, I would be set.  I would be one skinny, awesome author!  But for some reason, writing is the only area in my life that I can make myself do anything.  It is the love of my life.  I can be anyone I want when I write.  I am not restricted to the normal set backs in life.

I have found home, and it only took me a year to find it again.  I feel like the break really put things into perspective.  One day, I will be everything I have ever dreamed I would be.  And I will be there, just as awkward as I am today!

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